HELP CLEAR THE PINEAPPLE GLUT

Weird weather, including the second-hottest summer on record, has brought the Yeppoon spring pineapple crop on early in northern Queensland. 

Farmers are picking record crops from smaller fruit from smaller plants which are a couple of  months short of normal maturity: they're not usually fully-sized nor ripe until well into September. 

The fruit is brilliant - there's just too much of it: after the strange weather, farmers are taking twice the normal crop. 

So DRINKSTER recommends a method of helping these poor farmers dispose of a record tonnage of pineapples. It goes like this: 

1 select pineapple 

2 remove crown neatly 

3 scoop out flesh without breaching husk 

4 put pulp in bowl mixed with one bottle of tequila 

5 freeze until mushy/crunchy 

6 fill husk with this - you have enough for two+ fills 

7 replace crown for garnish; pass around

8 consume with spoon and/or straw 

9 when empty, repeat 

10 watch kids: they love this shit 
  
Keep a close watch on your pulse!