FALSTAFF'S SACK TERROIR ROCKING MADLY

SIR JOHN FALSTAFF by MARK ANSON

The Canary Islands, source of the sherris-sack (or canary-sack) beloved by the great Sir John Falstaff, appear to be on the edge of washing the Boar’s Head tavern clean into the Thames and off down the English Channel.

First, listen to Sir John pondering his potage:

“A good sherris sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me into the brain; dries me there all the foolish and dull and curdy vapours which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble fiery and delectable shapes, which, delivered o'er to the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second property of your excellent sherris is, the warming of the blood; which, before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice; but the sherris warms it and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extreme: it illumineth the face, which as a beacon gives warning to all the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their captain, the heart, who, great and puffed up with this retinue, doth any deed of courage; and this valour comes of sherris. So that skill in the weapon is nothing without sack, for that sets it a-work; and learning a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil, till sack commences it and sets it in act and use. Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the cold blood he did naturally inherit of his father, he hath, like lean, sterile and bare land, manured, husbanded and tilled with excellent endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris, that he is become very hot and valiant. If I had a thousand sons, the first humane principle I would teach them should be, to forswear thin potations and to addict themselves to sack.”

This is the sort of wine writing many of us could learn from. Notice its brilliant disregard to occupational health and safety, and the urgency with which overindulgence is encouraged. It’s Shakespeare, of course, from Henry IV, letting Sir John describe the tsunami of lust and passion the yellow wine unleashes within his mighty minions.

But this brief essay is more about the geology and terroir of the islands, and the marketing challenge it presents for all wine regions that export to the eastern seaboard of the USA and the UK.

If the earth tremors currently rocking the Canaries do the terrible deed, and loosen the flank of the Cumbre Vieja volcano on La Palma, the resulting tsunami would simply remove most life from ALL north Atlantic shores.

This is a very good reason to live on the south coast of Australia. The faultline I live on hasn't moved much in 50 million years.

THE DURAZNERO VOLCANO IN THE CUMBRE VIEJA ON LA PALMA, CANARY ISLANDS ... IF THIS BIG CRACK GIVES WAY, 500 BILLION TONNES OF ROCK WILL FALL INTO THE ATLANTIC, AND ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE ... CLICK IMAGE FOR TODAY'S TREMOR REPORTS FROM EL HIERRO, AN ISLAND SIXTY KILOMETRES SOUTH OF THIS TREACHEROUS TIME BOMB ON LA PALMA ... CLICK HERE FOR STORY ABOUT ONE HUGE LANDSLIDE THAT OCCURED LONG AGO ON TENERIFE .... FOR MORE STUNNING IMAGES OF THE HIGHLY UNSTABLE CANARY TERROIR AND TERRANE, CLICK HERE.