“Sod the wine, I want to suck on the writing. This man White is an instinctive writer, bloody rare to find one who actually pulls it off, as in still gets a meaning across with concision. Sharp arbitrage of speed and risk, closest thing I can think of to Cicero’s ‘motus continuum animi.’

Probably takes a drink or two to connect like that: he literally paints his senses on the page.”

DBC Pierre (Vernon God Little, Ludmila’s Broken English, Lights Out In Wonderland ... Winner: Booker prize; Whitbread prize; Bollinger Wodehouse Everyman prize; James Joyce Award from the Literary & Historical Society of University College Dublin)





13 January 2009



Fed Lets Fred-Chuck Fry In His Own Two Buck Fat

... Gallo Nephew Fails In Last Ditch Forgiveness Bid


One of the coolest news chips that DRINKSTER forgot to serve on account of Jesus’ 2009th birthday and the worship of the filthy lucre now implicit in that celebration was the little matter of outgoing President George Bush's administration showing a rare spurt of wisdom in refusing to grant a pardon to Two Buck Chuck.

The USA Freedom Of Information people have revealed that Chuck, also known as Fred T. Franzia, had applied, through a swarm of lawyers, for a pardon from the administration of outgoing President Bush.

Fred, Ernie Gallo’s 65 year old nephew, pleaded guilty fifteen years ago to federal charges of conspiracy to defraud.

He’d been “blessing the loads” of cheap grapes he sold by sprinking zinfandel on top of them and selling the lot at zin prices -- US$800 to $1,200 a ton, instead of $100 to $200.

Chuck paid a $500,000 fine, served five years on probation, and had to quit his job as President of Bronco Wines, which paid another US$2.5 million in fines. While five other operatives of Chuck’s went to prison, he retained his role as Bronco’s finance chief, and soon returned to his former position of President.

Bronco is the USA’s fourth biggest wine company, specialising in such cheap plonk as the infamous Two Buck Chuck, which is top of the premium bins in chainstore Trader Joe’s. Chuck makes a habit of selling the same wine under various labels.

Forest Glen is another of his specialties.

In spite of Chuck having his poor boy violin sympathy played, on his behalf, by the likes of Republican Congressman George Radanovich, and Washington-based attorney Margaret Colgate Love, for White House Counsel Fred Fielding, government refused the clemency plea.

Love was U.S. pardon attorney -- the Justice Department attorney who screens all clemency applications -- from 1990 to 1997. But only 99 pardon applications have been successful out of 1,143 in the last two years.

In spite of the efforts of his notable offsiders, Franzia failed. The Justice Department rejected his pardon application on 23 December, according to information obtained by McClatchy Newspapers through the Freedon Of Information Act.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i had a verbal trust with Mr. Franzia, the man called me family at one meeting. Accepting a handshake and talk of future business security for me and my family was only to be destroyed by the same man we speak of now. A pardon granted to him is only deserved if he honored his word and stand by the people that helped make him a lucrative whale that he his today. As i was financially flattened and deceive from trusting this wine baron. I can grant you this, "Pardon me, but your still crooked and can keep your record you made for yourself".