TICK THE BOX: HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE YARRA VALLEY LATELY?
Come Back Sandra, It Was Only A Rash
Piss Poor Response To Phylloxera Threat
Be Alert! Australia Needs More Lerts!
by PHILIP WHITE
After days of intensive lobbying, hurried meetings, hundreds of phone calls, blustery reassurances, and pompous claims that everything’s under control, the Phylloxera And Grape Industry Board Of South Australia has finally issued a press statement relative to the current phylloxera crisis in Victoria’s Yarra Valley.
Know what?
It doesn’t mention the Yarra Valley.
Sure, it glows with warmth at the notion of the Adelaide bicycle races and the tens of thousands of visitors they will bring to South Australia’s wine regions this week.
“Iconic”, it calls these regions. It oozes warmth about the “magnificent food and wine” they have to offer.
Sure, it leads off with acknowledgement of the Holy Trinity responsible for this dynamic call to arms: “Alan Nankivell, CEO of the Phylloxera Board of South Australia, in collaboration with Mr Chris Byrne, EO of Wine Grape Growers Association Of South Australia, and Mr Brian Smedley, CEO of South Australian Wine Industry, acknowledged today the significant economic and social benefit the Tour Down Under will bring to the participating wine regions”.
True heroes, these men.
“South Australia remains phylloxera free”, it blithely concludes, “largely due to the fact that protocols have been in place for more than a century.”
As they have been in the Yarra Valley.
The cool, self-assured tone of this tract of hubristic pith is equal only to the original notification of the outbreak from the Yarra Valley people, which came under the banner “Love It All”. (See following story).
Even the Premier, Mike Rann, called an urgent summit meeting on Friday, to ensure the wine business had everything under control, and the relative bureaucracies were at battle stations.
So they fluff and bluster and send e-mails everywhere trying to finalise the statement and out comes this?
PHYLLOXERA OUTBREAK IN YARRA, it should read. VICTORIAN VISITORS WARNED TO WASH CARS BEFORE ENTERING SA VINE REGIONS.
BORDER QUARANTINE STATIONS TO BE MANNED AROUND THE CLOCK, it should say. BIG DRIVE TO EDUCATE VICTORIAN VISITORS ABOUT PHYLLOXERA PROTOCOLS.
So what do they advise?
“All vineyard owners in the respective regions should be alert to the heightened risk of phylloxera incursion due to the expected large numbers of interstate tourists wanting to enjoy the experience of visiting cellars doors and watching the races.”
So you pass the problem on to the grape growers. They wait til the visitors have arrived, and give them a brochure saying “please don’t come here unless you’ve cleaned your car and wiped your feet, especially if you’ve been in the Yarra Valley recently”?
Piss poor.
This is a pressing issue of transport and agriculture. The transport Minister, Pat Conlon, is busy taking a fortnight’s leave, and the agriculture man Rory McEwin, is busy planning his retirement.
That leaves only Lance Armstrong....
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