“Sod the wine, I want to suck on the writing. This man White is an instinctive writer, bloody rare to find one who actually pulls it off, as in still gets a meaning across with concision. Sharp arbitrage of speed and risk, closest thing I can think of to Cicero’s ‘motus continuum animi.’

Probably takes a drink or two to connect like that: he literally paints his senses on the page.”

DBC Pierre (Vernon God Little, Ludmila’s Broken English, Lights Out In Wonderland ... Winner: Booker prize; Whitbread prize; Bollinger Wodehouse Everyman prize; James Joyce Award from the Literary & Historical Society of University College Dublin)





25 May 2018


Upon discovering the two giant pandas they'd been secretly guarding for decades in the Adelaide Zoo had cost taxpayers over $30 million, an elite underground wombat squadron living entirely on roots has surfaced. The crack squadron has withdrawn its services. 

After Puckapunyal training these warrior wombats first saw active service underground in Japan, then burrowed up through the Korean peninsula into China in preparation for their panda preservation role. 

Their CO refuses to be named, but says the deadly team will be happy to spend some time assisting their Adelaide brethren harass the immigrant human culture through the ongoing secret wombat headbutting destruction of the city's underground sewers and water mains until the original wombat tenure of this country is acknowledged. 

"This country you stole doesn't even grow this bamboo stuff these bumbling fatso pandas eat," the rebel digger chief grunted. 

"Send 'em home, save the rivers you've rooted and we'll talk.

"Also, we have the underground 3-D plan of that hill Kim blew up yesterday for the snappers and we can promise that's nothing compared to other bits of his big cheese. Your 'east' is weird as your 'west'."

George Grainger Aldridge is trojanpencil@gmail.com ... originals and commissions 

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