29 November 2015
THE FUNERAL OF ALLEN TOUSSAINT
Great wine lover Allen Toussaint, left, was the saint whose work taught me horns (The Last Waltz) (etc) and funk (Little Feat) when I was a tripping hillbilly driving a Falcon full of Bibles and shotguns through the early 'seventies ... but Allen's work really goes right back through the early 'sixties to hit singles I learned on the school bus radio as a kid, without any idea that the singers/players/producers/Allen were BLACK PEOPLE! Holy shit!
Milton Wordley took this photograph at one of Dr Bob's monthly New Orleans wine dinners for our book A year in the life of Grange ... then the lucky bastard went back to NOLA with his partner Anne Marie (below right) and this happened:
And then Allen up and died of consecutive heart attacks after a show the other night in Madrid ... how shit is that ... to watch some of Allen's funeral procession check this
Milton Wordley took this photograph at one of Dr Bob's monthly New Orleans wine dinners for our book A year in the life of Grange ... then the lucky bastard went back to NOLA with his partner Anne Marie (below right) and this happened:
And then Allen up and died of consecutive heart attacks after a show the other night in Madrid ... how shit is that ... to watch some of Allen's funeral procession check this
NIGHTMARE IN PENALUNA PLACE
Decrepitude in city planning: Adelaide Central Market, Saturday (yesterday) afternoon; the famous ... what was once a bustling outlet for fresh local fuitaveg is becoming a festering nest of coffee bars and sit-up sugar and caffeine snack joints beside a Shoppies incubator called Coles ... now they put this friggin monstrosity Saint Klaus up to get the kids in for a tickling ... I'd just escaped the pub round the corner and this was all I found ... looked round the other way and I got the shit below ... time to begin a bit of a think, Adelaide! Yo fucked ... no rhythm, no respect of graphic heritage, no historical sensibility, no love ... DUH!
photos Philip White
27 November 2015
26 November 2015
THE WOODWINDS OF LINFIELD ROAD
Like a woodwind section of beautiful antique instruments, these Linfield Road wines are a quartet best listened to all at once. They play perfect harmony, their counterpoint so subtle as to feign pure unison.
They're the lost Franz Schubert piece never before heard; in the couple of centuries since his death their dark rose and cherry wood tones have lost the edgy squeak of baby instruments and the clicking of their mechanical keys is well past, oiled away by the breath of generations of players.
They have none of that nasal annoyance of the oboe, like you see backlit in romantic movie credits over and over and bloody over as the sunrise hits the splashing droplets when the waterbirds land; rather they start with the bass clarinet, sometimes hinting at the goosehonk of the bassoon, but never reaching that awkward hooter's lack of sensuality.
These are the motherly, sensuous, moody wines of a revival consort.
They were made by the Wilson family, which began growing vines on their farm in the cooler uplands of the Barossa's southern reach near Williamstown in 1860.
Apart from that amazing provenance, they're significant because they show very cleary how even in the cooler bits of the Barossa, grapes can ripen quickly, almost over-delivering warming alcohols, especially when grown and made in the most natural and traditional manner, with wild yeasts and long maturation on lees before bottling without fining or filtration.
The Pruner Grenache 2014 ($30; 14.8% alcohol; 128 dozen made) is pure black cherry to sniff: pickled bitter cherries in rosehip jelly. It also shows the smoky/woody Marveer-and-laquer tones Grenache can display through its own natural lignin - sometimes, ripe like this, it barely needs barrel to seem oaky. It's a paler red: like Pinot, you can see your fingers through the glass. Which is not to say it's a lighter drink. It's syrupy, silky and very rewarding to sit and ponder. If you must have food, make it tea-smoked duck with shiitake.
The Monarch Merlot
2013 ($24; 14.8% alcohol; 405 dozen) lets no light through: this is where
the deep mahogany and rosewood tones begin: tones that seem to mirror the best
barely-sweetened cooking chocolate. The fruit is brambly, like the berries of
prickly wild hedgerow. Once again, the texture's syrupy, but with a tiny
insinuation of billy tea tannin. Brilliant for pork belly cooked in a hotpot
with capsicum, black pepper and onion, like you'll find in T-Chow's twin pepper
pork.
The Stubborn
Patriarch Shiraz 2013 ($28; 14.9% alcohol; 333 dozen) smells like the
sweaty old man's workboots full of blackberries. It is the most Barossan of
Barossa Shiraz: dense, dark and acrid, with that shot of gunbarrel cordite and
peaty fireplace that tickles the nostrils. Milky chocolate custard seems to
ooze over the whole unlikely pile. It's another step up the tannin ladder, but
all that gloop covers it til it melds perfectly into a spine of whiprod
acidity, drawing the finish out long and slow. I'd want a dribbling haunch of
beef here, with all the horseradish, beets, spuds and spinach you could throw
at it.
The Black Hammer
Cabernet Sauvignon 2013 ($26; 15.3% alcohol; 433 dozen) seems more mulberry
than blackberry, but they're both in here. With, as the name suggests, all
those hot iron and glowing coke smells of the smithy's forge. The oily leather
apron. There's more gooey chocolate sauce to harmonise with these ancient
industrial reeks: probably the most contrasting counterpoint in this entire
rustic suite. The smooth way all these unlikely contributions meld effortlessly
hides some of those big honest alcohols and while the tannins are the most
obvious of the four, they seem mainly to make me hungry for hot roast lamb, as
pink and dribbly as sensual carnality can reach.
I haven't attempted to score these wines: picking at them
in a such a niggardly way would only distract from their overall harmony, and
the dead-simple honesty they show in somehow reflecting the rich and stubborn social
culture of their source, as much as this particular slice of Barossa terroir.
To push the musical metaphor as much as their sheer gastronomic fascination, I made a blend of equal parts of all four. It is indeed the most heavenly, transporting, rustic delight: the essence of old Barossa. Strangely, it's tighter, finer and more elegant than any of its components. Try it yourself: line the four bottles up with some friends, and compare each wine to your blend. It's a heavenly delight. Drink them all while uttering the Barossa Barons' toast: "Glory to Barossa."
To push the musical metaphor as much as their sheer gastronomic fascination, I made a blend of equal parts of all four. It is indeed the most heavenly, transporting, rustic delight: the essence of old Barossa. Strangely, it's tighter, finer and more elegant than any of its components. Try it yourself: line the four bottles up with some friends, and compare each wine to your blend. It's a heavenly delight. Drink them all while uttering the Barossa Barons' toast: "Glory to Barossa."
SWEDISH ROYALS POUR PARACOMBE
For twenty years DRINKSTER has loved the Sauvignon blanc of Paracombe, the Drogemuller family's amazing winery estate above the Torrens Gorge in the Adelaide Hills.
The wine quickly became a favourite in Adelaide's bars and restaurants, and each year stands tall against the onslaught of the New Zealanders.
In their Christmas newsletter, the Droggies have proudly announced their Paracombe 2014 Sauvignon Blanc was selected by the Swedish Royal Family as one of just three wines served at the recent prestigious ‘Sverigemiddag’ – or Sweden Dinner.
"The dinner, hosted at the Royal Palace in Stockholm by Sweden's King Carl Gustaf, Queen Silvia and the Crown Prince Couple of Prince Carl Philip and Princess Sofia, honoured some 200 members of Swedish society who have made significant contributions to the nation over the past 12 months," Cath Drogemuller reports.
"That's a fantastic acknowledgement of Paracombe, our family, team and local neighbours and growers who all work hard – and with passion and commitment – to produce great wines.
"We're thrilled our son Ben is now making his mark in the industry with the purchase of the property next door here at Paracombe and planting his own vineyard, to Sauvignon blanc and Malbec."
Talk about a cool Yule ...
To read DRINKSTER's review of the 2014, click here.
The wine quickly became a favourite in Adelaide's bars and restaurants, and each year stands tall against the onslaught of the New Zealanders.
In their Christmas newsletter, the Droggies have proudly announced their Paracombe 2014 Sauvignon Blanc was selected by the Swedish Royal Family as one of just three wines served at the recent prestigious ‘Sverigemiddag’ – or Sweden Dinner.
"The dinner, hosted at the Royal Palace in Stockholm by Sweden's King Carl Gustaf, Queen Silvia and the Crown Prince Couple of Prince Carl Philip and Princess Sofia, honoured some 200 members of Swedish society who have made significant contributions to the nation over the past 12 months," Cath Drogemuller reports.
"That's a fantastic acknowledgement of Paracombe, our family, team and local neighbours and growers who all work hard – and with passion and commitment – to produce great wines.
"We're thrilled our son Ben is now making his mark in the industry with the purchase of the property next door here at Paracombe and planting his own vineyard, to Sauvignon blanc and Malbec."
Talk about a cool Yule ...
To read DRINKSTER's review of the 2014, click here.
photo by Philip White
25 November 2015
COONAWARRA CAN BE FRACKED 'SAFELY'
Labor stops making wood but insists fracking can still be safe in SA's famous Limestone Coast
by PHILIP WHITE
For a moment Dirty Harry was in my bedroom. That edge of slumber thing where dreams dance in and out of wakefulness. There stood Clint, lightin' up a Lucky and blowin' the smoke off his .44.
by PHILIP WHITE
For a moment Dirty Harry was in my bedroom. That edge of slumber thing where dreams dance in and out of wakefulness. There stood Clint, lightin' up a Lucky and blowin' the smoke off his .44.
In his best 'make my day'
voice, he half-whispered:
"We believe that
fracking can be safely carried out, provided there are strict environmental
safeguards."
It was the South Australian Labor Premier Jay
Weatherill (above) coming outa the morning wireless. He was in Mount Gambier, the biggest town in South Australia's famous Limestone Coast wine region, for a
Country Cabinet community forum. Turned out that maybe 40 of the 300 citizens
who rocked up were outside the hall demonstrating against the petrochem
exploration and drilling that's been going down in their countryside. I
understand there were more questions along the same lines inside. Many of the
Limestone Coast winery people are very worried.
Their district contains the wine regions of Bordertown, Padthaway, Wrattonbully, Robe and Coonawarra.
There are lots of different sorts of subterranean water beneath the Limestone Coast. The caldera of the dormant Mount Gambier volcano contained four lakes until the region's greedy irrigators dried two of them out through their bores, lowering the region's water table over the last 40 years. These two, the Blue Lake and Valley Lake, remain.
The intricacies of soft or
shallower rock fracking and deep stratigraphic exploratory drill holes are
complex and disparate, but this took me back to the early 'seventies, when as
young Department of Mines and Energy missionaries, my boss and I took a display
caravan to the south-east - now called Limestone Coast - to explain to the
grape farmers that the days of haphazard, relatively shallow water-bore
drilling through the Coonawarra aquifers were over: bad water aquifers were
leaking into good water aquifers and things were in a mess.
Very tight regulation was
the new thing: permits were now required, and rigid guidelines set for drillers.
Penalties were imposed on
law-breakers. Extant bores, and their water, would be closely monitored; old broken
ones sealed and capped.
Under the enlightened
leadership of Premier Don Dunstan and equally astute Mines and Energy Minister
Hugh Hudson, South Australia suddenly led the world in underground water
conservation.
I'll never forget the
haughty disbelief, even disdain those wine blokes showed us. They were 100 per
cent blokes then; blazers, moleskins and striped shirt type blokes. Some of
them are still there. We were merely pesky gubmint interferists. But the
message gradually sank in over the many years, and now some of the winery
folks, and others, are experts at the local subterranean realities.
Today, government people
are adamant that fracking is not on the cards. Yet.
They correctly point out
that not even the energy explorers with approval to drill have applied to frack
anything, but it seems that while the cabinet has at some recent time been told
such things are more than possibly safe, the folks in the Limestone Coast Protection Alliance have been doing their groundwork. They're certainly not all
merely half-informed and feverish. Some appear to know a lot more than many key
government figures about the dangers, short-term and long, of drilling holes into
the Earth's crust.
Not to mention fracking in
naturally saline environments, like the ancient seabed limestones of their
region.
Typical Coonawarra soil profile: thin Terra rossa over calcrete and old seabed limestone, which is highly porous ... while the Coonawarra stuff is younger, the limestone of the Mallee and Limestone Coast is up to 35 million years of age and can retain much ancient marine salt, much of it many times more salty than today's ocean ... photo Milton Wordley
"We only support the
safe mining and exploitation of natural resources," the Premier had continued,
"so we would never let there be approvals for any processes that would
damage our precious natural resources - including our water resources - which
are such a crucial part of the South East economy.
"We'd insist on that
if ever there were to be an application to do such a thing here.
"But all there is at
the moment are propositions. There are no current applications which are live,
but when they are they'll be getting the strictest possible evaluation."
The Premier's timing
wasn't the best. Only the day before the Australian Greens had confidently
announced their Renew Australia policy, their detailed plan to limit
Australia's energy use to at least 90 per cent renewables within fifteen years.
If fracking were permitted
in the region, fifteen years should be enough time to show clearly the validity
of this government's stance.
Strange things happen down
in that crust. The Premier's measured optimism brought to mind one of the region's
first deep stratigraphic bores, Caroline No. 1, which was drilled in 1966-67 in
the hope of finding oil or gas. Alliance Oil had been granted a permit to drill
into the promising Otway Basin, on a dead-end road in an out-of-sight spot in
the forest 12 kilometres south-east of Mount Gambier.
At 2,500 metres, they hit
paydirt. Or gas. There was whoopin' and hollerin' until they discovered the
stuff gushing up their hole wouldn't burn. Instead, it extinguished flame,
along with the drillers' eureka glee. It was CO2: carbon dioxide. Since then,
the well has produced an average of 65 tonnes of CO2 per day. Sometimes she
gushes more than 100 tonnes.
While it's all sold
profitably by Air Liquide Australia, which is listed on the Paris stock
exchange, that's just one hole releasing all that CO2, eventually to the
atmosphere, without even having to burn petrochem of any sort. So far, that hole drilled by hopeful oilers has given us 1,000,000 tonnes of CO2.
Lots of surprises can be
encountered down there in the crust.
But winemakers, and not
just the Limestone Coast crew, have similarly pressing issues to address, and as
far as we know, these are much closer to the surface.
Take the government's
contentious sale of the pine forests of the Limestone Coast. While Premier
Weatherill pointed out that the "forestry and forest products sector is
now employing more people than it was four years ago when people were
predicting dire consequences as a consquence of the sale," those forests are
a major source of the countless millions of trellis posts we see in vineyards
all over Australia.
These posts are sometimes treated
with creosote, which is downright poisonous, but most often with copper
chromated arsenate (CCA), which is worse.
'Minimal' pruning in Coonawarra ... mainly done mechanically, and much cheaper than hand pruning, it leaves all that messy wood in the foliage crown ... this hosts many bugs and moulds, making more fungicides and pesticides necessary ... these vines are trellised on copper chromated arsenate posts from the local forests which Labor recently sold.
In the region in which I
live, McLaren Vale, there were about 7,500 hectares of vines last year. At an
average of 600 posts per hectare, we have somewhere around 4.5 million posts.
These wear out, harvesting machines break them, new ones are required for new
plantings, old ones pulled out and stacked. Apart from a few new vineyards using stinking
creosote, like Treasury Wine Estates seems to prefer in some locations, as in
their newer Coonawarra and McLaren Vale vineyards, these posts are largely CCA
treated.
There are about 140,000
hectares of vineyards in Australia.That makes something like 84 million of
these bloody posts. In the ground. Only the Devil knows how many old uprooted
ones are stacked to rot, and where.
In its Environment
Protection Agency Guidelines (2004), the same government which grew many of these
posts in the Limestone Coast forests clearly states "an economically and
environmentally sound disposal technology for large quantities of CCA waste
timber is not available in South Australia at this time."
Pine forest on the Limestone Coast: a field group examining rehabilitation trials after harvesting ... photo PIRSA
As far as my research
reveals this is till the case. You're not permitted to burn them or bury them. You're
not supposed to let them get wet. But they're stockpiled in vineyards all over
Australia. Piled up out the back somewhere: behind the shed or where the old
fridges and washing machines go to die. They're given away for folks to use in
their veggie gardens, even used for playground construction. They get chipped
and used to stop the growth of plants. They go into landfill.
So there's an important
environmental issue that the Limestone Coast, as a prime source of the stuff,
must address the same as every other wine region in Australia, as consumers of
these things.
So far, it seems to be
largely an above-ground problem. Nobody that I know of has properly researched
what happens when this poison goes undergound, into the water the concerned
citizens of the Limestone Coast are increasingly keen to protect and preserve.
"This is one of the
great food and wine districts," Premier Weatherill said in Mount Gambier.
"Not only of the nation, but of the world. And of course the traditional
strengths of the pastoral industry. And
the forestry and forest products sector ... there's a rosy future for the South
East and we want to find ways in whch we can continue to assist this community
to grow."
Dirty Harry might have to
get a lot damn tougher.
24 November 2015
TWELFTREE FINALLY BEHIND BARS
Had I known that the Adelaide City Council had finally locked the great Howard Twelftree (above) behind bars, I woulda had a bit of a word in the pink shell-like of Adelaide Lord Mayor Martin Haese when we met at his opening of the extension to the Beirut Boulledrome, the west-enders' petanque piste on South Terrace near West Terrace ... as you can see, the plaque in the great Twelftree's memory has been locked away:
This plaque, in the Gouger Street entry to the Adelaide Central Market opposite the stylish lift another Lord Mayor, Jane Lomax-Smith organised, took an eternity to arrange, but the perseverance of Howard's mates, like Timothy John and Karen Foster, finally got it cast and paid for and bolted up and launched by previous Lord Mayor, Stephen Yarwood (below).
For 33 years, Howard wrote Australia's wittiest and most informed and helpful restaurant critiques in The Adelaide Preview and its offspring, The Adelaide Review. He died in June 2013. To perpetuate his memory, the Howard Twelftree Award is presented annually to an individual who has made an outstanding and lasting contribution to the gastronomic life of South Australia. The inaugural award went to the chef and restaurateur, Duncan Welgemoed, below, who has since moved from Bistro Dom to open the sensational Africola in the Botanic Hotel. This is one of those very rare restaurants whose zany decor - in this case South African - is matched by the brilliant surprises that arrive on your plate.
The 2015 award will be announced at the launch of The Adelaide Review Hot 100 wines next Thursday evening. To read of Howard's funeral, go here. Otherwise, be content with this image of the two of us hard at work at a champagne luncheon in Neddy's, away back when:
Too many blokes again ... Duncan's portrait is by Andy Nowell; all the other photographs here are by my dear friend and colleague Milton Wordley. You should check his buzzy blog and growing list of fascinating wine interviews and monochrome portraits here.
20 November 2015
SMITE THAT HAYFEVER WITH SHINY
Absolut Vodka
It's a long time since Andy Warhol wrote to Absolut Vodka
and said "I like your bottle," and asked if he might decorate one for
special release.
Since there's not really a lot of gastronomic things to
think about when drinking vodka, I've been thinking about this on and off while
drinking the most recent special arty bottle, which, being 100% chrome, or
something like it, and virtually free of trademarking, makes me think of even
less stuff. The process goes like this:#1 - It looks very cool. #2 - Chrome is
my favourite colour. #3 - Well that'll be enough thinking for now.
I even forget to remind myself that this stuff is forty
alcohols per centum. And it's exactly the same vodka as you get in the ordinary
clear Absolut bottle.
For the International Day of Men, and to put hayfever grizzles into perspective, here's Andy Warhol by Richard Avedon 20 Aug 69 ... Andy had been under the knife after after being shot by Valerie Solonas, who preached for the elimination of the male sex ... probly a bit short for Holly but I bet Andy woulda loved the chrome bottle ... Absolut still
flirts with his ghost
flirts with his ghost
The reason for this desertion of wine duties started
with the vineyard. Last week the Ironheart Shiraz which surrounds Casa Blanca
burst into bloom, cleverly selecting a narrow window between thunderstorm rain,
some of it frozen hard, which would have messed up the yields of vintage 2016,
and extreme hot wind, which would have blown the pollen away with half of next
year's bunches anyhow. So the timing was perfect for next year's wine. And the
aroma: the joint smelled like that Ukranian Christmas cake made from honey,
orange and cinnamon.
Trouble was, that heavenly wave of pollen came with a
bout of eight Richter hayfever which has stayed for ten days. The vineyard
flowering's over, safe and sound, but various irritating grasses have maintained the trigger role, leaving me with gurry eyes and no sense of smell. It
feels like I'm being sandblasted. I am increasingly allergic to Australia.
So the chrome bottle it's been, served freezing on big
ice with soda, the fresh juice of limes and lemons, maybe some real orange.
And oh yes: one key ingredient to replace the horrid
steroid and anti-histamine nose sprays and the cursed Ventolin, which mucks up
my smell receptors with the same deadly efficiency of the pollen: the old Zingiber officinale: ginger; its root.
If you have a very sturdy juicer and procure some fresh, soft ginger root, make
a juice and add a dribble to your tincture. If you love the thrill of risk, you may even add a drip of the juice of a very hot chilli.
If, like me, you love the fiery stuff, you can handle
quite a schlück of this. While it may not restore the head's organoleptic
receptors to formula one nick, it'll certainly knock that catarrh on its head.
And it's quite good at motion sickness and vertigo.
Keep your ginger up!
Keep your ginger up!
now there's some chrome for you ... Caddy spotted at the Bright Run a couple years back ... this photo and tins at top by Philip White
Japanese Beer
The only other drink of much efficacy this week is beer
in shiny tins. In these moments of inadequacy, I avoid the burgeoning flood of
craft suds: the last thing my hooter needs is an invasion of hippy yeast.
At five per cent alcohol, Asahi Dry, the brewed-in-Japan
jobby (as opposed to the bottled stuff which is from somewhere else and, well, forget
it) is as clean as a whistle and best at that moment seconds before its H2O
turns to sleet. This also provides the patient with some essential goodness in
the form of food and vitamins.
No chewing necessary.
Then there's the splendid Sapporo, which is brewed under
licence to the Japanese in Vietnam, where wages are lower and they still have
young people. Originally, the big tin had a lid which came entirely away,
leaving the drinkers to face their suds in what was practically a big tin beer
glass. Because they once plagued our landscape, our brilliant Beverages Container Legislation did away with removeable metallic ring-pulls and lids, so
while one gets only a little standard Adelaide-sized hole through which to suck
one's suds, it is possible.
One of the best things about the super-clean and crisp
Sapporo is rice. They add a little to the barley malt then brew away, giving a
softening saki-like cream to the beer's otherwise steely, tannic frame.
Banzai!
PS
I've not mentioned prices as they vary so widely: shop
around on the phone before leaving home.
Until the arrival of Japanese beer, first-class chrome was applied sparingly in Australia ... beautifully chopped '48 Holden ute ... photo Philip White
19 November 2015
WOOLWORTHS RULES OZ LIQUOR SALES
Images from McLaren Vale - Trott's View (Trott, Brooks, White, Campbell; Wakefield Press 2007; photographed by Milton Wordley, Christo Reid, Don Brice and Eric Algra)
Pollster finds Woolies' way:
stranglehold on liquor retail,
peopled up by the Shoppies
by PHILIP WHITE
There
are 24 million people in Australia. 4.8 million of us buy ethanol each ordinary
week, ethanol ideally being the safest sort of alcohol taken in pursuit of
refreshment, gastronomic delight and/or intoxication.
Each
of that 4.8 million people spend an average of $61 per week buying ethanol in
one form or another.
Roy
Morgan Research this week confirmed that the Woolworths' chain, Dan Murphy’s,
is Australia's leader in market share and total customer numbers in the
ethanol-dealing business.
This
comes as little surprise to those of us who live with our noses to the
winestone. Hungry Dan's is in your face. Some hacks in this racket get to
thinking Woolworths IS the bloody winestone. [Note to self: write song for next
band: The Ballad Of Hungry Dan and
Winestone Woolie.]
But
the burgeoning reach of this giant dealer is breathtaking. 1.2 million -- 23.9%
of total ethanol-buyers -- attend Dan Murphy’s each week. Add that to the 1.1
million who attend Woolworths' BWS ethanol chain -- the silversleeve second to
Dan's silvertail -- and you get 2.3 million. Only 1.8 million Australians make
it to church each week, for Christ's sake, and I'm doubting that lot tithes
anything like the $48 the average BWS convert puts in the Woolworths plate. The
Hungry Dans' congregation tips in $68 per head per week -- $7 more than the
national average.
To
me, this indicates volume more than quality.
Then
there's Woolies' undisclosed share of the direct-order wine clubs sales, which
lure only 4.8% of us to make a contribution each week. When we do, mind you, the
whole 74,000 of us, it's a whopping $194 weekly spend, average. That's even
more godly than the 30,000 or so happy-clapping Penties who get along to
Hillsong each week to sweat and holler in the names of Jesus and money.
And
oh yes there's Woolworths' Liquor, where 4% of us spend $56 per week. They must be nice shops. And
then of course the 4% of Australia's gaming pubs Woolworths owns through its
75% slice of the ALH Group. Together they own 6% of Australia's poker machines
and 294 pubs.
Which
is not to say that Woolworths actually want you drink too much. Their website
seems almost delighted to be able to anounce that "Alcohol consumption in Australia has fallen by
over 20% in the last 40 years. Around 85% of Australians consume alcohol on a
regular basis and most do so responsibly. The amount of alcohol consumed in
Australia on a per capita basis equates to around two standard drinks per adult
person per day."
Those in the propaganda
trade love possibilities like this, where the opportunity is set, should a
clever retailer reverse this trend, to announce "destructive slump in
premium wine slows," rather than "Ockers back on the piss."
This language on
Woolworths' website sounds very much like Roy Morgan's finding of 28 August 2015 (No. 6422), which
reports a "distinct decline in the proportion of Aussie adults drinking
[alcohol] at all ... the total proportion of Australians 18+ who drink any kind
of alcohol in an average four weeks has fallen from 72% as of June 2006 to 68%
as of June 2015."
Images from McLaren Vale - Trott's View (Trott, Brooks, White,
Campbell; Wakefield Press 2007; photographed by Milton Wordley, Christo
Reid, Don Brice and Eric Algra)
While this plunge is not linked to the quality of the cheapest wines
Woolworths makes for its cheapest liquor hangars, its website also makes clear
that as a responsible corporate citizen, it is capable of assisting those susceptible
to inappropriate consumption.
"We have a small
number of supermarket liquor stores in remote communities," it says,
"where the effects of alcohol related harm can be magnified by other
issues such as social disadvantage and welfare dependency. We work proactively
with local authorities in these areas to address issues of concern – sometimes
changing our range, our trading hours and our service policies to meet local
needs."
A shareholder looking for
returns would probably prefer to know that Woolworths always adjusts its grog prices
and hours to meet local needs without any interference from pesky local
authorities, but at least the sentiment's there.
An ongoing relationship
with Roy Morgan makes very good sense for Woolworths. Especially when Andrew
Price, the pollster's general manager of consumer products reports "Along
with the corresponding increases in the proportion of us drinking red and
fortified wines during the July-September quarter, our findings also reveal
that Aussie adults are also much more inclined to drink hot chocolate at this
time of year than any other quarter. One has to wonder, therefore, why no
liquor brands have yet introduced a pre-prepared alcoholic hot chocolate into
the market ..."
Some may find it alarming to think that there's nobody working the vast
halls, barns and hangars of Woolworths who've had the smarts to think of the
hot Bailey's or steaming Kahlua and cream, but it is possible they need blokes
like Mr Price to do it for them.
All
that aside, I have a terrible confession to make. Whenever I'm in a Woolworths
store and the pimpled register person quacks "will you be having a receipt for that
today at all?" I can't help thinking of Bernard Finnegan, who's just resigned from the South Australian Legislative Council
after being found guilty by a court of obtaining child pornography.
All
those well-intentioned supermarket and liquor store staff are members of the Shoppies,
the Shop, Distributive and Allied Employees Association, the biggest union in
the Australian Labor Party.
There's
28,000 of them in South Australia, Northern Territory and Broken Hill. The
Shoppies number around 200,000 members
nationally, including the employees of Coles, Bunnings, Hungry Jacks, Pizza Hut
and McDonalds.
Images from McLaren Vale - Trott's View (Trott, Brooks, White,
Campbell; Wakefield Press 2007; photographed by Milton Wordley, Christo
Reid, Don Brice and Eric Algra)
During Finnegan's five years as assistant secretary of the union, he was a protégé of Don "Godfather" Farrell, who later became a Senator and extremely powerful hard Catholic right ALP powerbroker who helped chop the head of Prime Minister Rudd, then lost his seat and was stopped from an easy parachute drop into the SA upper house by Premier Jay Weatherill.
During Finnegan's five years as assistant secretary of the union, he was a protégé of Don "Godfather" Farrell, who later became a Senator and extremely powerful hard Catholic right ALP powerbroker who helped chop the head of Prime Minister Rudd, then lost his seat and was stopped from an easy parachute drop into the SA upper house by Premier Jay Weatherill.
Weatherill
is handing Finnegan's seat to another Farrell protégé, Shoppies secretary Peter Malinauskas, a former Woolworths checkout jock.
He won't face an actual election until 2018. Malinouskas famously walked into premier Mike Rann's parliamentary office to
tell his days were up, which saw Weatherill take the job.
Farrell, meanwhile has
bought himself a full R. M. Williams rigout and moved to the safety of the
Jesuits at Sevenhill near Clare where he grows grapes and gets a neighbour to
make wine for him.
The
language on his website already looks like something from a Hungry Dan's
brochure.
"Nestled in the historic town of Sevenhill in the Clare Valley of
South Australia, Don Farrell and wife Nimfa bring you their bespoke wines hand
crafted from the most sought after grapes in Australia," it starts.
So how will this all finish? I dunno. But next time you're in a
Woolworths liquor store paying your tithes, look closely at the jockey riding
the register and realise that might just be your next Premier. Be respectful.
Later, if you manage to get your purchase home before cracking it,
wonder awhile how politicians like these manage the source of the cheapest, biggest
volume, most heavily-irrigated wines in the shop: the Murray Darling Basin,
where most growers are consistently making terrible losses and our precious
water regularly runs dry.
Peace in the valley?
Images from McLaren Vale - Trott's View (Trott, Brooks, White, Campbell; Wakefield Press 2007; photographed by Milton Wordley, Christo Reid, Don Brice and Eric Algra)
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