“Sod the wine, I want to suck on the writing. This man White is an instinctive writer, bloody rare to find one who actually pulls it off, as in still gets a meaning across with concision. Sharp arbitrage of speed and risk, closest thing I can think of to Cicero’s ‘motus continuum animi.’

Probably takes a drink or two to connect like that: he literally paints his senses on the page.”


DBC Pierre (Vernon God Little, Ludmila’s Broken English, Lights Out In Wonderland ... Winner: Booker prize; Whitbread prize; Bollinger Wodehouse Everyman prize; James Joyce Award from the Literary & Historical Society of University College Dublin)


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20 March 2009

FLYBOY OILERS RUG UP IN DESERT TEST

No Drinks Evident In New Saudi Kite
Would VVP Fly Without A Vodka Bar?

by PHILIP WHITE

It’s been a long time since DRINKSTER paid much attention to Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin. We regard him as a bellwether of accoutrement and innovation: anything he takes to is often highly fashionable within a few decades.

However, afford him too much attention and we find ourselves influencing his behaviour, so we withdraw.

His wine empire, which he shares with Moamar Gaddafi Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi,

Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya, Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution, King of Kings, chairman of the African Union, which will soon be the United States Of Africa, is back into the dream stage since we advised him about Australian consultants.

Our Eastern Blocster since leaked us this image of Vlad2P at a secret Saudi airbase.

His test pilot and instructor is 84 years old Crown Prince H R H Prince Sultan bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud, Crown Prince of Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and First Deputy Prime Minister. DRINKSTER advises yon Vlad2P should take note of the Crown Prince’s beard: how black they’ve got it looking; how it gives Aziz a zizz. You know: fru fru. He’s looking better, having recuperated in Morocco since the removal of a cyst from the Royal gizzard.

Prince Sultan is also the inspector general for the kingdom, and is Chairman of the Board of Saudi Arabia's national airline, Saudi Arabian Airlines.

The photograph registers Vlad2P with CP Aziz, during secret trials of a new flying carpet.

Primary witnesses report the Russian made no attempt to hide his doubts about the project, and kept his Ilyushin 96-300 ticking over nearby.


THE ENGLISH HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING FLYING CARPET SALES SINCE KING-HELL ADELAIDE SPARKY BOFFIN SIR MARK OLIPHANT SHOWED THEM HOW RADAR WORKETH IN WORLD WAR TWO

7 comments:

Trevor Haynes said...

Hey Whitey, did you get that bag of heavy sand we left behind the radar woman's desk?

Anonymous said...

Yo all boy wankers

IMPLODER said...

FOLLOW THE WOMEN IMAGES AND YOU HAVE AMAZING STRY OF ENGLAND OPR IT COULD OF BEEN GERMANY

sassaknacker said...

I was there that night. The minute the Russkies left, that carpet fired right up, the King pulled a litre of vodka out of his frock, and flew the damned thing home.

Anonymous said...

Yo all boy wankers

Anonymous said...

SO HOW CME WE ALL READING THIS SHIT AT MIDNIGHT?

Anonymous said...

your crazy