REMEMBER BURGE AND WILSON, “THE YOUNGEST WINEMAKERS EVER TO WIN THE JIMMY WATSON TROPHY”? FORGET ‘EM. IN AN INTERNATIONAL EXCLUSIVE, DRINKSTER REPORTS THIS NEW DYNAMIC WINEMAKING DUO WILL LEAVE THE WEST BEHIND. LIKE B&W, THEY PLAN TO BUY THE WINNING WINE FROM JIM INGOLDBY, JUST TO GET STARTED, THEN HIRE SOMEBODY LIKE BRUCE KEMP...
Afro-Rus Plonk Bloc Can Blow Us All Away
Big Aussie Wine Consultant Required
by PHILIP WHITE
Moamar Gaddafi Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi, Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya, Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution, King of Kings, is the new chairman of the African Union, which he plans to transform into the United States Of Africa.
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin was the second President of Russia, and is now the Prime Minister of Russia, and chairman of United Russia. He became Acting President of Russia in December 1999, just as Bruce Kemp was leaving the managing directorship of Southcorp, owner of Penfolds, the world’s biggest boutique winery.
“In recent months almost all speeches about the crisis have begun with comprehensive criticism of what happened in the United States. I do not intend to get into that”, Mr Putin advised the recent Davos summit.
“The time for enlightenment has come. We must analyse the deep causes of what happened, calmly, with no trace of gloating; objectively.”
Pretty wise stuff, really.
Gaddafi is a DRINKSTER hero for his sage confession “I cannot recognise either the Palestinian state or the Israeli state. The Palestinians are idiots and the Israelis are idiots”.
While the whole wine world has been feverishly obsessed with discovering the favoured wines of the Obamas, DRINKSTER can’t avoid noticing the absence of concern for the drinking plans of the two heroes pictured above.
While Pete Gago ensured Putin left Australia with his birth vintage Grange in his hand, few marketers have paid much attention to Gaddafi.
But given Gadaffi’s modesty about western luxuries, like money, women, and sunglasses, imagine the wine these dudes will produce when they consolidate their shit.
“Gaddaffi’s Moslem”, I hear you say. “Moslem’s don’t drink!”
But who’ll stop him? It won’t be the arab world.
“The times of Arab nationalism and unity are gone forever”, he said.
Putin can do anything from icewine through Champagne to Shiraz, whereupon, entering the sandier parts, Gadaffi can step forward, reinstitute the vast irrigated vineyards the Romans ran in coastal Libya some time before he took over, hire Bruce Kemp as advisor, and blow every other wine producing country into kingdom come.