“Sod the wine, I want to suck on the writing. This man White is an instinctive writer, bloody rare to find one who actually pulls it off, as in still gets a meaning across with concision. Sharp arbitrage of speed and risk, closest thing I can think of to Cicero’s ‘motus continuum animi.’

Probably takes a drink or two to connect like that: he literally paints his senses on the page.”


DBC Pierre (Vernon God Little, Ludmila’s Broken English, Lights Out In Wonderland ... Winner: Booker prize; Whitbread prize; Bollinger Wodehouse Everyman prize; James Joyce Award from the Literary & Historical Society of University College Dublin)


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05 October 2011

MARKETING IN USA: PURE AND TRUE WINS

All Australia's dumb, embarrassing critter label nonsense and bullshit brands with no home, no winery and no reason for existence - other than the producer's greed - totally miss the point of America's earnest yearning for, and naive faith in simplicity and truth.

Even those Australians who have inherited their own wineries seem to think they must make dumb jokes about provenance and prospect, and concoct ridiculous back label wank and even more stupid and ephemeral stage names for the front, those hayseeds who feel the same frisson and gay fru fru they felt as infants frocking up like yankee dude TV cowboys now they're all growed up, determined to tour the States like rock stars ... man, you might be making a quick sweet buck, but really, it's gonna be short, and you had no long-term hope from the start.

DRINKSTER thinks this Brooklyn barbershop offers everything that Australian winemakers failed completely to understand when they decided to export to the USA. You fluffed it, you Ocker berks, and you should hang your heads and retreat while the going's as good as it is. If you want to sell your crap plonk disguised as relics of your flora and fauna, and you insist there's still a relic of your inherited intelligence functioning, get outa the business until you've done some research on simple honest stuff like this.

DRINKSTER also feels morally - if not intellectually - obliged to pour derision on blogs full of utter balderdash like this bastard which purports to advise the world which Australian blogs are worth the read.


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

And the US wine industry is in as much if not bigger strife than the Aussie industry!

Philip White said...

Yes, Mr. Mouse, that's about the level of comment I expect from you. Gloat away: both industries are butchered! You must be doing something right! Halleluja! Praise the Lord! There are idiots aplenty both sides of the Pacific!

W Hing said...

Don't let him rattle you Whiteman.

Take a look at this:

http://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2011/10/us-grape-shortage-pushes-prices-up/

Philip White said...

... ta Wah! ... and furthermore:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/money_co/2011/09/wine-grape-napa-shortage-prices-inflation.html

Anonymous said...

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/10/06/BUMJ1LDMVT.DTL

Philip White said...

... and it looks even worse in Oregon:

http://news.opb.org/article/wet-weather-could-bring-worst-wine-grape-harvest-decades/